HAROLD CAMPING PREPARES 4 JUDGMENT DAY

This just in from Internet News headquarters, where our motto is: If it’s news; it’s news to us.

Dateline Anywhere USA; maybe even Your Town: This just in…the world’s gone mad.

Ok, that’s not so new; however, there’s been much talk around the blogosphere recently about the coming Judgment Day May 21.

Yes, to quote those ol’ alt-rock philosophers R.E.M., it seems in a couple of days, “It’s the end of the world as we know it.” That’s right Kemosabe, you heard it here last.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave—and we understand even that won’t help you on Judgment Day—you may know:

Harold Camping, the gravely voiced, 89-year-old founder of Family Radio; the man who pinpointed May 21 as the exact date of the Rapture based on clues sprinkled throughout the Bible. (Online source)

O of course we know Camping missed it back in September of 1994, but he had an excuse; the sun was in his eyes and as he said recently:

In 1992, two years earlier than that, I had already begun to see that there was a good likelihood that 2011 would be the end, but at that time when my research in the Bible was not nearly complete… (Online source)

You see, Camping gets a mulligan because now God’s revealed what the secret codes in the Bible really mean. *wink* *wink*

And now today our well-trained theological bloodhound defenders of the faith have dug up a potentially huge story.

IN was able to acquire this exclusive photo of Harold Camping taken in his underground bunker rumored to be somewhere near Roswell, New Mexico:

While slamming Montell Jordan’s 1995 smash This Is How We Do It Camping is seen here demonstrating his patented and official “Rapture Pose” to his devoted followers.

“Yo, cross your arms across your chest; that’s how we fly up to our Lord’s rest,” Camping rapped to the excited crowd while the blood red Kool-Aid was being passed around. At least we think it was Kool-Aid. Eew!

Said Camping to his faithful, “This time I’m prepared. If the Lord don’t take us, I’ve got a real dope Bible figures shadow puppet show I’m gonna drop on y’all.”

Hoo-wee fo’ shizzle dizzle Camp Camping figures to be the place to…um, be…or, er…not to be…depending, of course, upon whether or not God actually does take them all in the Rapture…